THE LOGIC OF LIFE

I think I might have stumbled upon one of life's greater mysteries.Why do people get married? Apart from love and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, which I'm not interested in talking about, I think people get married because that's a sure bet they have someone to talk to for life.

As I embark on my journey of the late 20s, my already-tiny circle of friends has diminished into an almost-non-existence.

Apart from my texas kakis, my msn biatches and my bawa blok minah, I don't quite know what the rest of u are up to no more.How have u been getting along? What's happening in your life?

Even when we do meet, I don't quite know what to talk about. And we just end up talking about anything and everything but about ourselves. Sad it is. I wonder if this is a natural progression in life. Is this the part where friends give way to everything else, and friendships fade away over time?

Where meeting up and phonecalls were common, and we breathed the same air, has now transpired into courtesy calls with no real exchanges and "how are you?" really means you have no idea what's going on in my life.

Perhaps I'm just feeling a little nolstalgic, thinking back on the fun girl-times. But save for my few regular cronies (you know who you are lah), where are the rest of you girls??? I miss the good ole times lah.

WHAT MY XXXXX DREAM MEANS

Omg, and I thought only Sabs was capable of having such dreams. So I dreamt of me and a certain gentleman. The details are vague, but all I can remember is that we were having a party and were desperately trying to lay each other, but were being constantly interrupted by other (irritating) party guests. I can't remember if we managed to get it on eventually, but it was one hell of a hilarious dream.

What does this all mean? Am I into this guy? Or am I lusting over him? Or is the dream trying to tell me something? Damn I hate dreams. Especially when they are too good to be true. I think this just means I need to get laid. Fast. Away, celibacy, away!

I value freedom. I dislike rules. If you want me to listen, hard selling will get you nowhere.

Never ever tell me you know how I should lead my life. Suggestions are welcome. Forcefeeding is not.

If you think you know what's best for me, ask me what I think. Cos when you assume, you just make an ass of u & me.

Don't nobody dare to dictate my life. The last I checked, this is MY life. I will not share it, go get your own.

Just because I have mellowed over the years doesn't mean you can make decisions for me. And I am this close to unleashing the angry monster beneath.

I'm not all evil. I know you mean well. But learn to tweak my buttons correctly and I might just stop and listen.

Just don't push me into a corner.There's not much space left. If you can't take the heat, walk away now. I love my non-picture-perfect life.I wouldn't change it for the world. So don't insist I change.

HER NAME WAS LOLA

I want to be called Lola. Cos I think it's a damn hot name. Plus I want to be a showgirl. Imagine the boozing, the men... Shiokalicious.

So anyway, I digress. I think a lot of thinking needs to be done before naming your child. Luckily my parents are not jokers. Imagine if they decided to name me after my father's favourite band. Then I would be called Beegee Yeo. And because they needed the rest of the names to rhyme, Sabrina would then be Squeegee Yeo. Rowena would be erm... Orgy Yeo, and Shawn will be Pudgy Yeo.

If I ever have children, I'll give them exotic names. Like Lolita and and Ramon. So hot sounding. Ok so they sound slightly porn-ish, but they are my kids. So I'll name them any way I want.

Love,
Lola Yeo

ONCE THERE LIVED A PRINCESS

The princess was continuously looking. Looking for something. That elusive feeling. But she got distracted. And after awhile, she forgot what she was looking for.

She knew that there were many other substitutes she could find. Cheap booze and a false sense of security.Loud music and neon flashing lights. Lulled into a trance, that elusive thing she lost would no longer seem as significant.

But the evil dragon would not allow the princess to slip through his clutches without a fight.Using the last of his magic powers, he transformed into a dashing knight. He truly believed noone, not even the hardened princess, would be able to resist the charms of the knight.

The princess saw the knight. Something deep inside stirred. A strangely familiar feeling which she could not quite recall. Needing a comforting shoulder, the princess turned to her pet butterfly. Alas, the butterfly had unknowingly flown away in the princess's period of debauchery.

The princess was truly lost. Fascination and trepidation all at once. All she wanted was to live happily ever after.

She thought, she pondered. And she fell asleep, not able to understand anything, but dreaming of unicorns,leprechauns, and chocolate bonbons.

MY BRAIN HAS SHUT DOWN FOR THE DAY

It's official. I can't wait for 6.15pm so I can zoom out of office and head to meet my hot date for dinner. But, knowing my shit arse luck, I will suddenly be bombarded at 6pm, and be a busy bee, which will then screw up my plans of leaving on the dot. And how do I know this? Cos I have been waylaid several times since last week.

Imagine twiddling your thumbs and looking at the clock every nanosecond. And just when you secretly cheer cos it's finally 6pm, something happens. And you end up leaving at 7pm. KNN.

Imagine the irony of it all. Previously, I would whoop for joy if I could leave at 7pm. Now I cuss and swear like no tomorrow if they make me stay back 5 minutes. Yesh I have thrown the irregular hectic days behind me. Now, I am content being part of the regular rat pack. Regular hours. No OT. Fixed lunch hour. Man this is the good life.

Ooh so looking forward to dinner. Can't satisfy my ma la huo guo craving, but miso soup will have to do for now... Still looking for ma la partners for the weekend. Anyone???

OMG, 5.24pm. Exactly 51 minutes more to freedom. I smell the weekend beckoning.Quoting Sabrina, if only everyday was Saturday!

FridayFridayFridayFridayFriday. Say it 5 times for luck.

THE START TO A HAPPENING FRIDAY

Scene 1:
Woke up at 6.55am, and rushed out of the room to use the toilet (running late by 10 min), only to realise my dad was inside. So patient me decided to wait. Just fyi, my family has a toilet schedule of sorts, so that noone eats into another person's personal morning toilet times. So I wait. And wait. And he emerges at 7.25am (running late by 25 min)!!!!

Conclusion: 35 min late

Scene 2:
Ran down to my favourite mama shop to buy my usual currypuff breakfast, and horrors of horrors, there were NO currypuffs (wasted 5 min + no breakfast)!!!! Walked out to get a cab and managed to get my favourite type of taxi uncle. The sloooooooowwwww and chillax kiind. Refused to go above 80km/h, and left a berth of an airplane between him and the car in front. Uncle, hello??? U think I going on holiday ah? Pui!

So nvm, we eventually reached the Paya Lebar exit, and farking hell, big-ass jam. One lane was moving quite fast, the other was at a complete standstill. Guess which lane my uncle took ah? Make a guess, come on! Yeap, without a doubt, he took the lane which was not moving... I was there at 8.45am. And I was still there at 9.05am (time wasted: 20 min)! By this time I'm simmering, so I asked the uncle to take the other lane. And the moment I did that, the lane I was originally in started moving like a hurricane, and the lane he cut into stopped moving!! And this uncle had no initiative to cut back! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Finally reached office at 9.15am with a whopping cabfare of 18 buckaroos. And late does not exist in my company's dictionary. And I blame it all on the uncle. Bloody hell.

Scene 3:
Went to da bao lunch and decided to treat myself to orange-pineapple juice. Love it that they do it on the spot. Saw an orange piece fly between the juicer and the grimy wall. And guess what? The fruit juice man picked it and threw it back into the juicer. And me being the bo chap person I am, took without making any noise, and proceeded to finish every single drop of it!

Scene 4:
Picked at a pimple on my face after lunch. Mistake. My concealer refuses to hide this monstrous growth. And now I'm desperate.

Well, at least the day can only get better, no?? *crosses fingers*